Snake of the Day

Part 3 in a 5+ part series

Featured Snake – King Cobra

Genus: Ophiophagus
Species: O. hannah

The King Cobra is the world’s largest venomous snake and can grow to almost 20 feet in length. The snakes venom is highly dangerous to humans and can have a kill rate of almost 75%, just a shade higher than the Bucks rate of losing this season. But, while the kill rate is high, the venom itself is only moderately potent, lesser than that of many other cobras. The King Cobra’s biggest advantage with its venom is that it has ½ inch long fangs that can deposit large amounts of the venom into the blood, making it extremely dangerous. The King Cobra’s home region lies in Southeast Asia and Indonesia.

Perhaps the most well known and distinguishing feature of the King Cobra is it’s hood. This is created when the snake flattens its top-most ribs and stands erect. This position is used for defense to scare away potential predators like mongoose, or to assert male dominance when wrestling with another snake. In these battles, both male snakes will stand erect with their hoods out and attempt to push the other to the ground. The one that is “pinned” first is the loser.
While the hood of the King Cobra is easily recognized as the most distinguishing feature, perhaps one of the less noted features of the snake is just as interesting and leads to some of the myth and fright behind these snakes. While many other species of snake rely on birds and small mammals for their diet, the King Cobra dines mainly on other snakes, resorting to lizards, birds, and rodents only when other snakes are scarce.

The King Cobra has been featured to emphasize Larry Harris’ own “hood,” this being his remarkably well-kept and less well-styled hair. This hairstyle makes the man look like he should be driving a Delorian. Perhaps this hair had the same effect on free agents that were worth paying as the King Cobra’s hood has on its predators when it is cornered…it scares them away. To his credit, Larry Harris’ hair did evolve with his age and to a certain extent, the times. In his younger days it was much more frightening with much less hair on the sides. But over time it came to be quite a nice do, although still with a little too much styling gel.

Information courtesy of http://www.wikipedia.org/
Picture 1: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/33/Ophiophagus_hannah2.jpg
Picture 2: http://newsfromrussia.com/img/idb/bucks.jpg

Snake of the Day

Part 2 in a 5 part series

Featured Snake: Coral Snake (65+ species total)

Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Reptilia
Order: Squamata
Suborder: Serpentes
Family: Elapidae
Genus: Leptomicrurus
Micrurus
Micruroides

Species: Over 65

Coral snakes (pictured above) are known mainly for their red, yellow or white, and black bands around the length of their body. As commonly learned about in the 4th grade science class unit on camouflage and adaptation, coral snakes can commonly be confused with the eerily similar Scarlet Kingsnake. The difference being that the Scarlet Kingsnake (pictured below) has a harmless bite and most coral snakes have extremely potent venom. The difference is often remembered with simple mnemonic devices like “Red and yellow, kill a fellow; red and black, venom lack,” or “"If red touches black, it's OK, Jack. If red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow." It is important to note that these particular devices only work for coral snakes that call North America home.

Most coral snakes are short in length, though it is not unusual that they grow to around 24 inches. Some specimens have been reported at 60 inches or longer. Coral snakes tend to live a reclusive life, choosing to spend most of their time buried in leaf and ground litter or buried in the ground. This behavior leads to a very small percentage of snake bites each year coming from coral snakes.

Coral snakes have small non-retractable fangs. This means that they tend to hold onto their victim once they bite it to ensure that the venom is released into the victim. Due to the small fangs, bites are often ineffective against humans because they have trouble getting through shoes or thick clothes. Despite their less-than-manly fangs, coral snake venom is an extremely dangerous neurotoxin (poison that acts on nerve cells) that has every ability to take down a human.

We have chosen to feature the coral snake on our Snake of the Day to showcase the many faces of Larry Harris’ general manager costume. 2005 Season: In what would become the event that would spark this segment, Harris promised a player on the team who was beloved by Milwaukee citizens whether they were basketball fans or not, Desmond Mason, that there was no way he was going to be traded. Absolutely none. The next week Larry Harris proceeded to trade him to the Hornets for the lumbering oaf Jamaal Magloire and money. Through the media, Mason unleashed his artistic tongue on Harris, calling him “…the slipperiest snake in the grass I’ve ever seen.” So do not be fooled by Larry Harris into thinking that he is the harmless Scarlet Kingsnake that he appears to be, for he is actually a deadly venomous coral snake. But, while the venom is deadly, the fangs that deliver it are weak. Here’s to you Desmond Mason.

Snake of the Day

Part 1 in a 5 part series

Featured Snake – Reticulated Python (Python reticulatus)

Kindom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Reptila
Order: Squamata
Family: Pythonidae
Genus: Python

Species: P. reticulatus

The reticulated python, making its home in Southeast Asia and Indonesia, is the largest snake in the Eastern Hemisphere. It has fought a grueling battle over the years with the anacondas of South America for control of the title of World’s Longest Snake. This species of python was measured at a maximum length of 32 feet 9 inches, just a shade longer than the longest ever recorded anaconda. This length would be approximately equivalent to the length from the baseline to the NBA 3-point line, plus about 3 feet.

This monstrous snake is an ambush hunter. It sits and waits for an animal to enter its coils and then seizes them, squeezing the air and, consequently the life, out of its victims. Reticulated pythons have been rumored to kill panthers, tigers, and crocodiles, but the largest documented kills have been a 23-kilogram Sun Bear (10 weeks to digest) and 60 kg (123 lb.) pigs. They are generally able to eat anything up to ¼ their size and weight. Based on size estimates, it is possible for reticulated pythons to kill and eat humans, though accounts are rare and hard to verify.

Today there are approximately 5,400 reticulated python farms in Southeast Asia. The snakes are raised for their valuable skin to make purses and cowboy boots. In Indonesia, it is rumored that reticulated pythons, due to the popularity of raising them for money, actually outnumber humans in the country by an astounding 15 to 1 ratio.

Like the larger reticulated pythons, Larry Harris had the innate ability to squeeze the life out of not just humans, but an entire community of faithful NBA fans. With his series of poor trades and overpaid free agents Larry Harris managed to tighten around the Bucks franchise as well as the city of Milwaukee and watch as the heartbeat of the fans has slowly died. In addition to his soul-squeezing abilities, Larry Harris was able to lie in wait in the lower levels of the franchise, for years contemplating his time to strike, uncannily alike to the ambush attack of the reticulated python.

Information:
http://www.tigr.org/ - The Reptile Database
http://www.wikipedia.org/
Pictures:
hoglezoo.org
i.a.cnn.net/si/2007/writers/marty_burns/

Harris Farewell News Conference

For those so inclined, I would highly recommend giving a listen to Larry's farewell news conference. The man has taken a lot of criticism during the team's recent struggles, but the reality is that it will be at least a couple years before we can accurately judge his tenure as GM.

Much of the team as it stands now was put together by Harris (Mo, Villanueva, Bogut, Yi, Simmons, Ivey, Sessions, Mason, Bell, Gadzuric) and their success or failure moving forward will be Larry's real legacy, even if he is no longer around to watch it unfold. I personally think the man did a reasonably good job as GM as far as positioning this team for success in the future and while our coming week-long retrospective will poke fun at Mason's infamous 'snake in the grass' comments, it's not at all meant to be a cheap shot at Larry himself.

For an excellent, intelligent, and objective look back at the Larry Harris era check out our fellow bloggers at http://thebratwurst.com/. Probably one of the best reviews yet of the man's tenure as GM.

Coming Soon:

-We will take a look at the snake behind the grass in a week long retrospective of Larry Harris, the good the bad & the ugly. It will be both fun and educational as we profile the man and his tenure as general manager alongside a menagerie of serpents mundane and exotic. The five day series begins next Monday, March 24th. Photo courtesy Jack Orton/JSOnline.

Bucks heading towards a difficult decision.

As this disappointing season winds to an end, it's natural to look forward to the possibilities of next season in an attempt to forget the underwhelming effort of these 2007-2008 Milwaukee Bucks. And as an eternal sports-optimist and someone who picked the Bucks to make the Eastern Conference Finals this year (goodbye $5 bet), I have no shortage of tenuous half-evidences to point to suggesting that the team will be much improved in '08-'09:

-Ramon Sessions' impressive D-league play
-Bogut's emergence this year as a legitimately dominate big man
-That fact that every year they've been in the league, Bogut and Redd have worked hard to improve and add something to their games in the off-season
-Yi's expected improvement now that he has a season of nba basketball under his belt
-Charlie V's growth since the all-start break into 'the player we always thought he was going to be'

And other fans could probably add another half-dozen reasons to talk yourself into believing that next season will be different. But this question is not so much about whether things will be different; rather the question is, what if things are different?

These are Charlie V's numbers over the last five games: 24.6ppg, 9.6rpg, 1.2 bpg, and nearly 1 steal over what has been an average of 37 minutes per game. By most accounts he has been much improved since the all-start break, and especially since Yi's injuries opened up more playing time and a starting spot.

Now, pretend this is how the rest of the season plays out: Yi is limited/shut-down for the remaining games; Villanueva remains the starter at PF and continues anywhere near the pace he's been setting these last five games (20ppg, 10 rpg); the Bucks enter the off-season with legitimate all-star production at the PF spot (finally) and a chinese superstar drawing 100 million new fans to the franchise, and these two are not the same person. What then?

Presumably, there will be a new GM before next season. Both Charlie and Yi (assuming Charlie finishes this season strong) will be valuable assests, playing minutes at the same position. What does the new GM do? Go with the established 20ppg & 10rpg Villanueva, or the internationally popular Yi and his still unproven potential?

Probably no other man on the planet can draw as much worldwide attention and interest to the Bucks as Yi right now, and his impact goes way beyond the basketball court into business, politics, etc. On the other hand, the Bucks are a basketball team, the GM's job is to assemble a winning group of players, Charlie V is (hypothetically) an established 20/10 PF and a good guy to boot and how many years have the Bucks been searching for that?

Each of them is going to demand 40+ minutes a game to really develop and play at the level they're capable of, so at some point the minute-sharing of this season is not going to cut it. Ideally Villanueva can play SF equally well and the Bucks will enjoy the best of both worlds, but if he can't what then?

The new GM will have a tough decision on his hands and unless it is obvious very quickly that the right decision was made, what's left of the already disgruntled fans will turn their backs on the franchise. Photo courtesy chinadaily.com.

"They have all these eccentric plays, but then there's no one there to rebound." -MJ

That is the Bucks' season right there, summed up in twelve simple words. I could write a 5000 word essay about this season and still never quite strike the note/feeling that this quote captures so beautifully.

Try it during a game some time:

-2nd quarter, Bucks down 9 against a team they should be beating, they play good D for 24 seconds and force a tough shot, Bogut kicks the rebound out and the Bucks are hustling down court, it's 3v2 and now Mo pulls up for a 25-footer that clangs off the iron and out of bounds. The rest of the guys shuffle back to play defense again. 'They have all these eccentric plays, but then there's no one there to rebound.'

-Tie game, middle of the 4th quarter. Bucks play solid D for the first 15 seconds, then somebody penetrates the lane and Bogut steps up to challenge, nobody rotates to pick up Bogut's guy, and it's an easy assist for an uncontested dunk. Bogut looks pissed and whatever meager noise the crowd was making dies back down. 'They have all these eccentric plays, but then there's no one there to rebound.'

-Close game, the other team gets an open jumper that doesn't fall, but 2 of 5 Bucks have already taken off downcourt looking for a fast break and nobody else has put a body on anyone, offensive rebound. 'They have all these eccentric plays, but then there's no one there to rebound.'


Those twelve words capture it all, the bad shots and the soft rebounding/defense and the sense that the 5 guys on the court are never really on the same page. Just the general absurdity of trying to win with a team built around pieces that don't quite fit together and maybe don't want to anyway.

Can you even picture any of the starters hanging out with each other? Mo is thuggin' it, Bogut can't stand the 'hood mentality, Redd is very much about Jesus and the church, Yi is 19yrs old and wishes he was in California, Charlie Bell is still salty about free agency and the fans, Charlie V and Simmons are salty about their minutes, and Gadzuric is the same player he was $30 million dollars ago.

Winning fixes issues like these but the Bucks need to play with chemistry to win, so it's a catch-22. They play a few games well and then when they lose a couple there's a bunch of finger pointing and everbody returns to their own agenda. You get the sense that nobody values their teammates' contributions quite as highly as they value what they themselves bring to the table, and I don't know whose fault that is or how you fix it.

It's easy to say blow the team up and rebuild around so and so, but it's also just as easy to look at all the talent and say 'if only we can get them to play as a team we would really have something.' Is it the players' fault for being selfish? Is it the GM's fault for picking the players? Is it the coach's fault for not building unity? Is it nobody's fault because maybe everyone will gel at some point and all of this will work out for the best?

"Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning him-self to let it eat him away." -Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

Nothing is as frustrating as watching someone waste their potential, and that is what bothers fans so much about this team. Pictures from recent games:

Against Detroit:








Wednesday, against the Sonics:

Also against the Sonics, this guy here was blatantly trying to attract the attention of the Bucks girls, Energee, for most of the night:

He did eventually manage a wave and some giggling at the end of this performance.

Finally, a scene from the Feb. 23rd against Cleveland, it's Seniorgee performing the Soulja Boy dance:



This may have gotten the loudest cheers of the night, btw.

A Salvo of T-shirts

The winds of spring were blowing on a seasonable March night in southeastern Wisconsin. The city felt good as people were bustling about Milwaukee's occaisionally happening downtown district. Some were taking in the allures of a majestic stage performance of the Lion King. Others were revving up their engines and polishing their tires at the car show. Yet others were taking in the hustle and sportsmanship of the UWM Panthers in a showcase of incollegiate athleticism.

While others enjoyed these oh-so-worthwhile pursuits, I was getting ready for what I was sure would be an NBA game in which the hometown Bucks would be pasted by the San Antonio Spurs (even if Mo Williams decided to play for the Bucks instead of sign autographs at the car show).

But something happened that night. Something magical. No, the Bucks didn't win on two last second free throws by Michael Redd - in fact he proceded to miss them both. They did not win on a last second put back by Andrew Bogut off of one of the aforementioned missed free throws - although they had the chance for this as well.

What the Bucks did do was give out a souvenir FSN hat that is surprisingly comfortable and not all that unstylish. In addition, the Bucks made not only my night, but my entire season, by bringing out the most amazing piece of t-shirt launching machinery in the history of the t-shirt toss.

Despite the objections by the court manager in previous attempts to bring it out, she could not ruin this night. For at this game, Bango wrested her powers over the massive weapon and hauled it out onto the court. He then proceded to unleash not one, not two, but THREE unrivaled outbursts of balled up t-shirts to the stunned and raucous fans. The first salvo of t-shirts was something to behold when, in no more than 6 seconds, no less than 30 t-shirts were fired high into the rafters of the Bradley center into the awaiting arms of the ecstatic fans. Perhaps if we were to take this grandiose t-shirt launcher into the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan there would be no more war because all would be too excited that even they were able to catch t-shirts.

While the Bucks have been nothing short of a huge disappointment this season, the t-shirt toss has yet to let me down. And for this I applaud the Bucks organization.